How to Survive a Heart Attack

Unfortunately, the lack of awareness spells disaster for the stroke victim. A stroke victim may suffer brain damage when people nearby fail to recognize the symptoms of a stroke. Now doctors say any bystander can recognize a stroke by asking three simple questions: Ask the individual to smile. Ask him or her to raise both arms. Ask the person to speak a simple sentence. If he or she has trouble with any of these tasks, call 9-1-1 immediately and describe the symptoms to the dispatcher. After discovering that a group of non-medical volunteers could identify facial weakness, arm weakness and speech problems, urged the general public to learn the three questions. They presented their conclusions at the American Stroke Association's annual meeting last February. Widespread use of this test could result in prompt diagnosis and treatment of the stroke and prevent brain damage. Is It A Heart Attack? A cardiologist says if everyone who gets this e-mail sends it to 10 people, you can bet that at least one life will be saved. Read this... It could save your life!! Let's say it's 6.15 P.M. and you're driving home (alone of course), after an unusually hard day on the job. You're really tired, upset, and frustrated. Suddenly you start experiencing severe pain in your chest that starts to radiate out into your arm and up into your jaw. You are only about five miles from the hospital nearest your home. Unfortunately you don't know if you'll be able to make it that far. You have been trained in CPR, but the guy that taught the course did not tell you how to perform it on yourself.

HOW TO SURVIVE A HEART ATTACK WHEN ALONE
Since many people are alone when they suffer a heart attack, without help, the person whose heart is beating improperly and who begins to feel faint, has only about 10 seconds left before losing consciousness. However, these victims can help themselves by coughing repeatedly and very vigorously. A deep breath should be taken before each cough, and the cough must be deep and prolonged, as when producing sputum from deep inside the chest. A breath and a cough must be repeated about every two seconds without let-up until help arrives, or until the heart is felt to be beating normally again. Deep breaths get oxygen into the lungs and coughing movements squeeze the heart and keep the blood circulating. The squeezing pressure on the heart also helps it regain normal rhythm. In this way, heart attack victims can get to a hospital. Tell as many people as possible about this. It could save their lives!!

Kobi & Angelo

Angelo picked me up to carpool to practice yesterday. Kobi was excited, as usual, when he came to the door.

As soon as I opened the front door, he started jumping and making his funny excited noises. Then he did something I've never seen before.

He got a running start then jumped in the air and bumped Angelo while he was in the air.....like he was tackling him. It cracked me up. Good thing Angelo didn't get knocked down!

Angelo, maybe he knew you were a football player :)

The Battle of Intensity

In the midst of all this madness with Bryan, Bruce has been great. Not once did he ever complain or make me feel guilty for spending time with Bryan while he was mourning the death of his grandmother.

In an email he sent, he said, "I really appreciate your wanting to be there for me, but you really don't need to do anything different from just being yourself. I'm concerned about the strain it's putting on you to feel like you have to be a pillar of strength for both your boyfriend and ex-boyfriend at the same time." Sweet, huh?

But that didn't prevent me from putting a wall up to protect myself. I was in the midst of a battle between intense emotions of fear & sadness versus love & adoration. It's so difficult to have some of my emotions pull me to one side while others fight to pull me to the other. I've realized that I cannot balance such intensity at the same time. It's like a scale where one outweighs the other. Or a tug-o-war of my heart. I just couldn't find myself having the ability to switch gears on and off within a matter of a few hours.

Poor Bruce....as supportive as he was, he also felt the brunt of Bryan's stroke indirectly. He tried so much to reach out to me but I just wouldn't grab hold.

Girls' night changed everything. With everything off my chest, and my ladies reassuring me that it's ok to feel the way I do, I felt liberated. It was also seeing Bryan out of the hospital on Friday. He is doing better but very weak. He lost 6 pounds in 4 days and his speech is still slurred. But he is ok and that's all that matters.

And now, it's Bruce's turn for my attention. I am such a lucky person to have someone as understanding as him, in my life. If you haven't figured it out, I am in love. And it's an intense love that I hope will last.

Meeting Family

Today I met Bruce's sister Lynne. She arrived last night for their grandmother's funeral. She's staying at Bruce's, so we aren't spending as much time in the evenings together.

He called this morning to invite me to breakfast. I didn't get to sleep until 3 the night before so I wasn't the most social that I could be. And the bags from lack of sleep and crying the past few days....let's not talk about those.

Anyway, it went pretty well. She's a few years older than us and lives in Arkansas. I swear, I thought I was staring at Bruce with hair and makeup. She's here until Friday so I'm sure I'll be seeing her again.

This time I'll get more sleep....

It's Ladies Night.....

Every few months or so, some of my girlfriends from CAL get together to eat and be merry. We generally pick a food theme. This time it was good ole pilipino fare. I picked up the food since I live in Flip town. The rest live in millionaire town (i.e puti-ville). We went for the artery hardening dishes of lechon kawali, sisig, mongo, empanadas, and of course rice.

It was good for me to get together with the galz because of my emotional state of late. I haven't seen some of them since BEFORE Bryan and I broke up. So, what did they do? Sit me at the head of the table....boy do I love attention (please note sarcasm).

Well, my turn came around to update them on my life.....they are not avid blog readers so it was a lot: Bryan and my breakup (had to get into every little detail), meeting Bruce and our relationship to date, Bryan's stroke, how his stroke is affecting Bruce and my relationship, yada yada yada.

Man, that was a lot of ground to cover in a few hours. AND the others had to update on their lives as well.

It was a huge relief to get things off my chest. I cried....and cried....then cried some more. Then we got goofy and the rest of the night I laughed...and laughed....and laughed some more.

It was a great night....emotionally draining but mentally healing. I love you ladies!

The Brothel

I have had so many men in and out of my house today, that my neighbors may think I've got a side business going on. I was planning on just taking the morning off but I'm home now for the rest of the day.

The first guy in was an estimator for a glass enclosure. I remodeled the bathroom in the master suite to have a jacuzzi tub, double shower heads, and 8 body sprays. The problem is, there is no enclosure, so even if I tried to take a low water shower, the water gets everywhere. I'm trying to do a heavy glass bi-fold so it can be open when I'm in the tub and at the same time not take away from the beauty of the tile work when it is closed.

An hour later, the appraiser comes in. I'm doing a refi so they needed to take another look. Good news is he thought the house was worth more than any of the other comps that he's seen in the area. Bad news is, he left the gate to the backyard open. Kobi went to the backyard and was out there for about 20 minutes. I was wondering why he didn't come in and I kept looking out the windows but couldn't see him. Then I heard him barking in the FRONT of the house! Good thing, I just opened my front door and he came into the house, all breathless. Who knows where he was for that amount of time. Man, my neighbors must LOVE me.

Then, his dog walker gave her 2 weeks notice. She's moving to a different state. So, I panicked, went on craigslist and made a dozen phone calls. I found "Dog Daddy". He's retired and takes his dogs out every day anyway. He came over so the two of them can meet. He brought over his 2 Rhodesian Ridgebacks and it looks like everyone gets along just fine. He lives in Hercules, so if there are any emergencies, he can pop right over.

Now Bryan and his buddy Mark (my old roommate) are coming over to pick up his TV. Mark wants to take it back down with him to San Diego. It will be good for Kobi to see Bryan also. Or maybe it's the other way around.

So, that's 5 guys in the span of 6 hours. Oh wait, Bruce was here this morning....so that makes it 6 and Kobi makes 7. That's the most men in and out of this house in one day!

The Doctor is in the House

My mom just called. She just told me that my nephew, Dean, is watching her. She's in pretty good hands....here are some of the things he's said so far:

"Mom, don't worry, I'll take care of you."

As my mom sits on the bed with her legs uncovered, he says, "Mom, would you like me to cover up your legs for you?"

"Mom, here's some cereal. (As he hands her a box of Sugar Pops) Eat it. It will make you feel better."

Ahhhh....one less person to worry about. Dean's taking care of her.

Mental Breakdown

I had a little mental break down yesterday. Now that Bryan is "ok" I've had an opportunity to sit back and let the adrenalin drain from my body.

With Bryan, my mom, and Bruce, I feel like I need to be there for everyone. I just got some sheet music that I ordered and was playing the piano....trying to prepare myself for my first lesson.

Bruce came over, one thing led to another, and I just cracked. I just sat at the piano crying. It wasn't just one thing but a lot of things mixed together.

Everyone around me is going through a slight depression. Maybe it's the weather? Maybe lack of sleep? Maybe because they had a stroke? Just kidding....

Today I'm feeling better but still fighting back the sting of tears....

What Next?!?

Bruce just called me and told me his grandmother passed away. My God!

The TEE Test

The results came out negative. Thank Goodness! I do want them to find the cause of the clot but so happy it's not the heart.

My brother, who is a Radiology Tech, went over all the different tests that they may try. He mentioned that they may test his circulation. If he has bad circulation in his legs, for example, he can have blood clots. Those blood clots can move through vessels to other parts of the body...including the brain.

If that's the case, one solution would be blood thinning medicine for the rest of his life. That beats heart surgery any day!
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Just got off the phone with him....good news!!!!!! They're letting him out tomorrow! :)

Visiting Bryan

Yesterday, the MRI confirmed that Bryan had a stroke. I was floored. How can that be?

So, I took off from work early and went to visit. I wanted to get there before anyone else did so we can spend some time alone. I wanted to get the awkwardness, of not talking to him for a while, out of the way.

He looked good....weak, but good. He still had his goofy sense of humor. I was glad that he didn't lose that. I found out that when he was in the emergency room, the paralysis came and went 3 times. At first, Bryan and his friend were thinking it was an allergic reaction to some homeopathic vitamins that he was taking. That's why he drove him all the way to SF from Marin, versus going to a hospital out here.

Thank God there was no permanent brain damage.

We had a good 1.5 hours before the crowd started trickling in. There were about 10 people that came and went until I left around 10.

He had 9 doctors coming in and out throughout the day: neurologists, cardiologists, internists, etc. No one could understand what might have caused this.

Today, he has to take a TEE test. He has a heart murmur and they want to see if there is a possible hole in his heart or valves that may have caused the blood clot in the brain. If there is, he may have to get surgery to repair it.

He is not one to show that he is afraid but I know him. I'm afraid as well. I know he'll get through it but he needs your prayers to help also. Please, please, please include him....And thank you to those that already have. Your support means tons.

The Most Depressing Day of the Year

A British psychologist calculated that yesterday was "The Most Depressing Day of the Year".

Well, coming in today, I'm finding that the statement couldn't have been more true. Not so much for the reasons that are listed in the article but because of unfortunate events that are happening to people around me.

• A co-worker told me that the mother of her daughter's friend passed away of cancer last night. She leaves behind 2 daughters aged 11 and 7
• A friend told me that at her doctor's appointment yesterday, they told her that she has tumors in both her ovaries. She is going to have surgery to see if they are cancerous
• My mother got into a car accident. She was turning into a residential neighborhood but there was a SUV that was stopped. She stopped but the car behind her didn't. She got hit at the full 35 mph speed and the front end of her car ended up underneath the SUV. Although she has whipflash and bruises, she will be ok. It's only her 2nd day back at work after being gone for a month on disability.

And the most shocking news I received today is that Bryan is in the hospital. When I got to work this morning, there was a note on my door to call my boss as soon as I read email. I checked voicemail first and there was a message from one of his good friends telling me that he was in the hospital. I thought he was talking about another Brian at work....then I went upstairs to talk to my boss. Here is the email that went out:

Late yesterday afternoon Bryan had numbness in his whole right side and slurred speech and "stroke like" symptoms -- he appeared to be "okay" late last night (Emmy and I hung with him until 11:30) and this morning (i.e. the numbness and "stroke like" symptoms were gone, but his arm still felt "heavy").

At the hospital (California Pacific Medical Center 2333 Buchanan Street, San Francisco) the doctors ran a battery of tests and they couldn't figure out what was wrong -- they don't think it was a stroke, but are unsure.

He stayed over night to be monitored and then he was going to have some more tests today. Not that he wants a billion calls, but if you want to give him a call call the main number 415-600-6000 and ask for his room.

The most surreal thing is spending 3 years of your life with someone and getting news like this through voicemail/email from someone that is not very close to me. It was not the best news to get 15 minutes before walking into a room full of controllers and planners from all the LUCAS companies. My eyes were red and every time people looked at me it was with pity.

They debated about calling me last night but didn't want to tell me until they had all the facts. They didn't want to worry me about something that was unclear. As of right now, it's still unclear.

I called him at the hospital and didn't get a chance to talk much. He was headed over to get an MRI done. My god...he's only 33.

Please, keep him in his prayers. He is ok from what I can tell. And I don't think there will be any lasting effects. But my goodness, he works out every other day and plays basketball twice a week. What else can you do? Your body just decides to go on you when you least expect it.

I'm going to try and visit tonight.....

Ebony & Ivory

I bought my piano when I first moved into my house. But in the 3 years I've had it, I've barely used it. I think Bruce has played it more than I have and I've only known him for about a month.

The last year, it was underneath a tarp. Now, that construction is done, it's been begging me to play it. I see it sitting there, thinking how lovely it looks and how wonderful it would sound if someone played it right!

I took lessons from elementary to junior high, when I became "too cool" to be playing piano. I still know how to read notes and I can dissect sheet music until a "song" gets cranked out of my clutzy fingers.

Well, I think the time has come to benefit from my financial investment. I think I mentioned before that Bruce's roommate, Marty, used to play for The Wailers. He now teaches piano lessons.

So, I'm taking that step to taking lessons again. I start on Thursday. As awesome as Classical music is, I've been there done that. Now I want to focus on jazzy/pop tunes. I'm so excited!

Backdating Italy

I just bought an external hard drive and downloaded all my files from my old computer. (Thanks Gary for helping me AGAIN!) I just found my journals from Italy. They were actually my emails to Bryan while I was there. I decided to drop them into my blog as they were pre-blogging days.

If you are interested, check them out in the 06-04 archives.

Sleepless in Forestville

As cool as it was to be away from home, it was a torturous night. The house is beautiful and I'm sure perfect during the summertime. But on a 30 degree night, no heat (well, we did have a space heater), and an anxious dog...my night could have been much better. I think the house was too cold for Kobi too.

Both he and I are used to having a doggy door at home so he can come and go as he pleases. But being in a strange house, all he did was whine and stand by the back door all night. So, I finally got up to let him out in the back. Unfortunately, he is as anal a dog as I am a person. He won't pee on cement or flagstone...only on grass, crushed rocks, or bark. So, he wandered around for about 15 minutes wanting to pee but didn't know where. He finally, came in and went straight to the front door.

So, I had to bring him out there, in the pitch black. I walked him around for about a half hour just begging him to go. But he kept on hearing things or cars would drive by and he would stop. Finally, I just gave up and brought him back up to the house. I climbed back into bed with Bruce then 5 minutes later he was crying again.

Finally, I just grabbed a blanket, put it in the other bedroom and let him sleep on the bed with me. It was a lot warmer for him than the floor on his mat. It took me about an hour to go back to sleep because I was freezing. Then in the morning, he was whining again and I took him out to pee. I left the door open and took him down and he went within 5 minutes. So we headed up the stairs and I took his leash off so he can go right into the house.

Well, Bruce got cold and shut the door. Kobi saw his opportunity to take off. With all the redwoods, he thought he was on an off-leash trail and took off running. I was chasing him for 15 minutes. I was so nervous that cars would run him over. Luckily we were on a narrow street and they were driving really slow. When I did catch him, he was tired and I was able to go back to sleep!

When we did finally wake up, we went on a great walk. First we went down to the river where Kobi fetched his water toy. I love watching him swim but I did have a nightmare last night that the current swept him away. I was a little anxious because the current was fast.

After a while, we just wandered the town of Forestville and took in the beauty of the views, homes, trees, and river. It was great exercise and a nice way to spend time with my boys. We ended up having dinner in Guerneville at a restaurant that happened to have a spanish trio playing falmenco music. It was a great ending to an eventful 24 hours.

Now I'm at home in my warm house and cozy bed. I'm definitely planning on getting a good night's rest tonight.

Russian River

I took off from work early today. Bruce, Kobi and I are our on our first getaway together. We're at the Russian River. This is one of Bruce's favorite places, and I can see why....well, I have more to see in the day time. This is my first time here.

His boss/buddy owns several properties up here. We're staying at the Spa House. It's an awesome place, especially the bathroom. It has a sunken jacuzzi tub, a huge shower, AND a sauna just in the bathroom. And outside on the deck is a hot tub.

Right now, we're freezing our asses off because we don't know how to figure out the heater. But Bruce went to the market and picked up some firewood. It's just taking a while to heat this place up. Brrrrr......

Tomorrow, we're going to take Kobi to the river right across the street!

Don't Drink the Water!

A couple days ago, Kelli, in my department came in to tell me she was pregnant. That was a shocker to me as she isn't married (although that shouldn't matter). She has been living with her boyfriend for a few years now.

I was really happy for her because she has been out sick a lot lately. She actually thought it might be something that tends to run in her family. So, this was good news.

Then, my manager hat came on. Let's see....she'll be out in Sept. That's when we are moving to the Presidio and she's our coordinator from our department. Okay, no big deal. I still have a few months to think it over.

Then, this morning I walk in and I see her in Jen and Liza's office with the door closed. Of course, I'm thinking she's telling Liza. She already told Jen since Jen is her immediate boss.

The door swings open and Kelli says, "Maria, come in here." I can tell from the look of her face and tone of her voice that something was definitely up. So, I saunter in very cautiously. The 3 of them are looking at me with this weird look and I just turn to Liza and say "Are you pregnant, too?"

She nodded. At that split second my knees felt weak and I had to sit down. These girls are not only my subordinates, but they are my dear friends as well. I was in SHOCK! The other day, Kelli said, "It comes in threes. You may be next." Well, that's 2 down!

Liza has been my partner in crime. When she's in a serious relationship, so am I. When she breaks up, so do I. So, we've had this parallel life in some way.

Then my manager hat really came on. SHIT, she's going to be out right after the movie releases. Ay Naku! I'm torn between my happiness for them and my anxiety for work. At least I have a few months to figure things out.

Speed

As I mentioned in my other post, I had an early meeting this morning. Well, the day just did not start out right. I woke up late (not unusual). But as I started driving, the gas light came on. What do I do? Get Gas and risk being late to my meeting? I already traded with someone to go earlier since she needed me to bail her out.

I decided to just go and get gas on the way home. So, I sped to get there on time. As most of you know, there is never-ending construction on the Richmond Bridge. READ: Speed limit is only 45.

Well, there was a sneaky cop hiding behind the barricades of the construction. As soon as I spotted him, I slowed down. But I neither slowed down fast enough nor did my speed limit go down to 45. I thought it was still a 55 zone.

He followed me throughout the whole bridge and I got off near San Quentin. Well, that was just the start. After telling me that I was speeding, he tells me that my stickers are expired. I swear I paid for the renewal! So, I dig in my glove and find it, but that one expired in 2004. Then I find another one in my SAAB handbook. That one also expired in 2004. UGH! So, he says he'll run it on the computer.

Then he looks at my license. It still has my old address. He asked if I ever let DMV know. I told him I did online but never got a change of address card.

He asks me for my proof of insurance. I continue to dig through my glove box. There are about 5 cards in there and I just grab the first one I see and hand it to him. He tells me that one is expired also. So, he goes back and writes me up for a speeding and fixit ticket. In the meantime, I'm searching my wallet and glove for the most recent insurance card. No dice!

Ironically, I just received my new insurance card in the mail yesterday and left it on my desk at work.

So, with that, I got several lectures about my license, my stickers, and my insurance. I was defeated and just let him talk. The good thing is he only wrote me up for 65 so I could go to traffic school. It could have been worse.

Can you imagine what a tragedy this is for someone as anal as me? I wasn't organized when I needed it most! I need to get back on track!

I'm taking off now to take care of my stickers.

Open Water

Last night I watched Open Water. The movie actually came out right before Bryan and I went to Costa Rica. We didn't want to watch it before we left since a big chunk of our vacation was scuba diving.

I was on pins and needles the whole time I was watching. It may not be as exciting for the non-scuba divers, but they had an accurate depiction of what it's like to be under water.....the sounds, the breathing, the views. I actually pictured myself on that dive with them.

It reminded me of the time that we went to the Bahamas. We did a shark dive. I was pretty freaked out about that but at the same time so very excited. Then the worse thing happened. The night before, I started spotting from my period. Shit! Do I go? Crazy as it seems, I decided to go.

Then when we're on the boat on the way to the dive, Bryan picks a scab. Man, we were just setting ourselves up to be shark bait.

It was a truly amazing experience as 6-8 reef sharks swam around us. But each time one came really close to me, I got really nervous.

After watching that movie, I think my shark diving days are over.

Don't Let Da Elevator Bring You Down!

I had an exhausting day yesterday. I stayed a little later at work because I had to prepare for a meeting early today.

Unfortunately, the elevator at my work is the slowest moving thing in the world. I think I was able to get to my floor faster when I had crutches going up the stairwell. But when you're tired, you get lazy. And so I waited....

I almost bumped into the cleaning lady as I entered the elevator after waiting a good couple of minutes. My building is only 2 floors with an underground garage. But the elevator stops at 1/2 floors also. So, I go in and to my dismay it starts going up instead of down.

Just what I needed...a tour of the building in an elevator climbing at snail's pace. And even more to my dismay, it stops on 2R....Bryan's floor.

But I was relieved when I only see 2 people as the doors open. But a split second later, he comes around the corner and joins us. I just wanted to get out of there. But the elevator stopped on my floor again...to pick me up. Then it stopped on the next 1/2 floor and no one was there.

The conversation in the elevator was forced and awkward, although I never spoke to Bryan directly.

When most people break up, they just worry about having to bump into them at a mutual friend's party, the local grocery store, or at your favorite places that you used to go together. I worry about bumping into him every day....in the elevator, on my way to the bathroom, on my way to meetings, and actually in my monthly meetings. In fact, my meeting this morning included him.

I should have learned my lesson when I went out with Peter. Never date someone from work!

American Idol

Last night was the premiere of American Idol and I wasn't disappointed. This is my favorite part of the show...the auditions!

I don't want to spoil it for those that TIVO'd it but some initial thoughts.

Toni Braxton's cousin - Wow!...you can interpret that any way you'd like
Something About Mary - Scary

My Favorites so Far:
The Dread-Locked Rasta
Constantine the Rocker

What amazes me are the people that can't sing. Why would they torment themselves and wait in line as long as they do? And WHY, WHY do their family and friends encourage them to try out when they know that they will be made fools of? Are they looking for their 15 minutes of fame like William Hung?

Anyway, looking forward to tonight's episode.

Darth Tater

Lookin' for a cool gift for your kids, nieces, nephews, or even yourself? How about this?

For those inquiring minds, it goes on sale on 2/11 at most stores that sell toys. Get it quick. The buzz for this toy is really crazy out there.

Damn, I'm Hot!

I grabbed dinner, at Ohana, on the way home from work. There was this Pilipino guy in front of me that just kept looking at me. It was making me uncomfortable, and at the same time irritated. While I was paying, he watched. While I was getting my drink, he watched. And as I walked out, he watched.

As I'm walking out, all I hear is "Excuse me...grumble, grumble, grumble." Man, this guy's got balls. He's actually gonna try to talk to me. So, I say "huh?" He says, "I think you dropped that." I looked on the floor, thinking it was a straw and thinking, what a dumb line.

Then as I walk closer, I notice that it was my tampon! It fell out as I was taking my keys out of my purse. Yeah, that deflated my big head!

Have you ever seen a Pilipino turn red (other than Moe when he's drunk?)

Quote of the Week

I finally got around to cleaning up the front yard. I saw my next door neighbor and chatted a little with her. The pizza they ordered was arriving as we were chatting and her son answered the door to pay. Well, she started taking stuff out on him and he says to her..."are you ok? Why are you getting all 'storm-troopy' on me?"

Couldn't help but chuckle!

Bean Counters

On my way to work this morning, I was listening to KCBS newsradio. A story regarding BART's financial woes came on. The reporter started the story with, "BART's bean counters..."

Now, I took offense to that. Am I being overly sensitive? I know I'm biased because I'm an accountant, but I think it's very unprofessional.

What if he started his story with "BART's computer geeks..." or "BART's ambulance chasers..."?

I may need to send Bob Melrose an email regarding my dismay.

The City of God

Last night, I watched The City of God. With Likha's upcoming trip to Brazil, I was more fascinated with the story being told. But it's a story that actually makes me nervous about going.

Yeah, I know, get a grip Mur. This is a story of the slums of Brazil and I am anticipating not spending any time there at all.

It reminds me of a plane ride home from Texas. A woman sitting next to me was having a slight anxiety attack. I struck up conversation and asked her if she was afraid of flying. She said, no, she was going to LA. The time was during highly publicized drive by shootings and the aftermath of the LA riots. After further probing, I found out she wasn't going to LA. She was going to the Riverside area. Not quite the violent streets of Crenshaw. So, I did my best to calm her down and told her that she was going to be ok.

Now, I feel like I'm her. I need to find a Brazilian (preferably male...just kidding Bruce) to calm me down about my fears.

Regardless, the movie is amazing and the actors are so believable. I highly recommend this one!

The Ex

Before me and casual dating, Bruce dated someone for a year. They lived together for about 10 months but he knew she wasn't the one and asked her to move out.

A few weeks ago, she started going through her "I miss you" phase. A phase that most women go through at one point after a breakup. A phase that I actually went through with Bryan. At first it was subtle: calling to ask for any mail, dropping by to pick up the last of her furniture, calling to chat and asking to go to the movies, dropping by his office to check out the new digs.

Yes, he did tell her he was dating someone.

Then last night, she sent the email. You know THAT email. The "let's get back together" email. The "it's your last chance before I start online dating" email. The "if you have a little bit of hope, let's try again" email.

That's cool. I actually feel kind of sorry for her. I just told him to watch his rearview mirror when he comes to my house, in case she's following. I don't want to have to be in the middle of it all.

The BBC

This morning I woke up bright and early to take Kobi to the BBC shoot. Now that his trainer moved to S. Africa, I was "allowed" on the set. I primped up hoping that I might get some air time.

Bryan wanted to go too, so we decided to meet early. Kobi gets really excited when he sees Bryan and it's been almost a month since they last saw each other. We wanted him to get his excitement out before he started filming.

We finally got to meet the staff from Pine Street Clinic. The shooting took place in an estate in Kentfield. The owner of the home actually helped build the clinic years ago. They have a shed that they use as an art studio and that's where Kobi "goes to work." It's funny how he knows what "work" means. Last night I told him he was going to work tomorrow and he got sooooo excited. In fact, this morning, he was begging to come into the shed so he could get to it.

One of the staff told me that Kobi is definitely above average among the dogs used. However, the error rate between the best and worst dog is only 3%. I think they love him so much because he is so fast and enthusiastic. I think it's because he is food motivated.

So, the documentary was going to be divided into a couple of parts. There are a couple of dogs from "Guide Dogs for the Blind" that are also starting to train. But they haven't reached the point where Kobi is at. They were there to demonstrate the training needed to get where Kobi is. Kobi's part is to show what the end result is. His nemesis, Isabel, is having puppies. So, today Kobi is the star!

The piece is going to be an hour long. After they air it in the UK, they are going to try to air it on the Discovery Channel. So, we may be able to watch this one.

While the film crew was setting up, they wanted Kobi to practice a few rounds. It's been a few months since his ovarian cancer training. We watched from behind a curtain as his handler told him "to go to work". He walked past the samples once, came back around, then went straight to the curtain and started jumping on me. Then he saw Bryan and did the same. We tried to watch from outside but he just stared at us and kept on barking.

So, we were banned. We had to leave so he could do his thing. I'm at home right now waiting for him to get dropped off. Then I'm going to head off to work.

You know what BBC stands for? BANNED BY CAMERAS!

You'll never see me on film. :(
But at least you'll see him on this show!

Bruce Sans Beard

A little birdy wanted me to post a picture of Bruce without his beard. Here is one that he took on his picture phone when I was in LA:

Being Serenaded

I've been so exhausted for the past month. A lot of it has been attributed to the "getting to know you" stage of a relationship. So, there are a lot of late night talks during our discovery phase.

So, last night, I decided that I was going to go straight to bed. But of course, after "The Amazing Race."

As I lay in bed, Bruce began to tinker with his guitar. I've always been in love with the sound of the acoustic guitar. Previously, he would sing renditions of songs he wrote as well as songs he didn't write, as he played the guitar.

Last night was just the guitar. Nothing beats falling asleep to funky rhythms, romantic ballads, and Spanish songs.

Procrastinators

Since Manok hates the word "slacker", I've changed my header on my sidebar to "procrastinators." Just for you Manok!

Real Estate is Cut Throat

Bruce nailed an awesome deal today. There was property in El Sobrante that he was interested in but a bid was already placed. In fact, the papers had already been signed by the husband and needed the wife's signature.

In that short window, he went in for the kill. He got his client to put a bid $30K over asking price. The property needs a lot of work but his client is a contractor. So, instead of investing the money in getting the work done, they just bumped up the price based on the savings he would have by doing the work himself.

So, today the agent and seller met separately with Bruce and the other agent. The owner didn't want to get into a bidding war so they decided to go with Bruce's offer, even though the other agent was willing to give a higher bid.

His roommate said it best when he said, "It's like snatching a steak out of the guy's mouth and eating it. He almost had it but only got a taste of the A-1 Sauce."

And so with that, we went to Berkeley to celebrate at an Indian restaurant and karaoke at the Shattuck Hotel. And no, I didn't sing. I was just a spectator.

BTW, I was so mad! I taped "24" for John and myself. I guess I had "60 Minutes" in the brain and changed the channel from Fox to CBS. Crap! I'll have to track it down somehow!

Editors Suck!

Tonight was Kobi's debut on 60 Minutes. Laurie, being the party planner that she is, gave me the idea of having a viewing party at my house. So, Laurie, John, the boys, Liza, Natalie, Tin, OJ, and Angelo came over. They were the first to meet Bruce.

I knew Kobi was going to have very little air time when the preview mentioned that the cancer detecting dogs were in the UK. Kobi's trainer told me that they filmed there first, and the Director of the Cancer Center did say it was going "to be very brief." But he did get a couple of good cameos in. But his nemesis, Isabel, was the one shown smelling the cancer samples. UGH! I couldn't help being the backstage mom and feeling cheated that it wasn't him being shown since when I picked him up from the filming, Kirk mentioned that Kobi did better than Isabel.

Ok, enough of my pettiness. I am just very happy that Kobi can be part of something so amazing and that will hopefully have an impact on saving lives.

Next week, I'm bringing him to his next shoot....a BBC documentary. My co-worker, who is from the UK, said he could get someone to tape it for me. (Pettiness warning) I hope he gets more air time this time.

He's Just Not That Into You

My girlfriend from work invited me to check out Greg Behrendt at the San Jose Improv. If you recall from a previous post, he is the author of "He's Just Not That Into You". He was so hilarious that I was crying so hard.

Sidenote: I know that I have an obnoxious laugh. But this woman sitting below me was snorting and stomping her feet and it sounded like she was choking. I felt really embarrassed for the guy she was with. I ended up focusing on her instead of what the comedian was saying....gotta stop doing that.

Anyway, at the end of the show, he was in the lobby hawking his cds. So, I being the groupie that I am, decided to talk to him. I cut in the front of the line, because I'm ballsy like that (I didn't want to buy anything, just chat).

I told him that his book helped me get over a break up. He shook my hand and said "really?" He was actually sincere when he said that. And then I added, "And now I'm dating someone that totally adores me." His face lit up. At least he is helping woman-kind with his comedy. My only regret is that I didn't bring my book for him to autograph.

The Bright River

Tonight, Bruce and I caught a show, at the Julia Morgan Theatre in Berkeley, called The Bright River. It's a hip hop interpretation of Dante's "Inferno". To be honest, I couldn't help but have somewhat low expectations. In my mind, I pictured a hasidic Jew narrating while a bunch of kids wearing jeans with their boxers hanging out were beat-boxing in the background.

On the contrary. Although the content was dark, I couldn't have been more pleasantly surprised. There were 4 performers: a bass player, a cellist, the MOST talented beat boxer I've ever seen, and a narrator/actor/performer who also beatboxed while playing the flute (which by the way, is called Battle-Flute).

The music was haunting at times but also kept our heads bobbing and toes tapping. I highly recommend checking this show out. They are playing until next weekend. As the actor kept on plugging, "Support Independent Theatre!"

The Journey

A wise man just told me, that a relationship is like a journey taken by 2 people. On that journey, it is not only important to listen to your own heart, but your partner's as well. If one is ahead of the other, the other must slow down. Otherwise, you are not taking the journey together.

It's great to be dating a wise man.

Set Your Tivo's and VCRs

During the past couple of years, Kobi's worked with his trainer at EZ Train as a cancer dog.



This Sunday, 60 Minutes will be airing a piece on the program. Check it out!



CBS) Sunday, Jan. 9, 2005 Correspondent Morley Safer's best friend makes her television debut this Sunday in a remarkable story about dogs that can sniff out cancer. Safer's golden retriever Dora can't smell cancer, but sniffs her master when he comes home like most dogs do. So Safer employs her to help assure viewers that just because your dog sniffs you doesn't mean it is anything more than canine curiosity. But Dora and your dog might be able to smell cancer if properly trained. Researchers in California and in Cambridge, England, are successfully training man's best friend to smell out one of his worst enemies. Dogs can be more accurate than current cancer tests and represent a breakthrough in cancer detection, say researchers. Dora usually watches 60 Minutes with her master each Sunday night and is known to react to television on occasion, but will she notice her cameo? Sunday at 7 p.m. ET/PT.

Anal Once More

I have a slight reputation of being anal. Maybe not as anal as Tin, Moe or Bev, but anal enough to be made fun enough.

In fact, my college girlfriends came over one night and all I could hear was them giggling downstairs. I knew they were up to something. When I went downstairs, I was horrified! They moved things around and flipped cushions over to the wrong side.

Yeah I know, horrified is a strong word but when you are like me, it's an accurate description of my feelings. They were cracking up, as one by one, I found everything that was out of place. I think they moved about 20 things around, including just turning a plant a little to the right. Yup I found them all.

Now, if you come over, please do not make it a game. You'll give me a heart attack!

Well, while I was going through my depression, I was no longer anal. Nothing was really important to me anymore. I just let things go!

I know that I have come a long way in my depression because I'm becoming obsessed once more. With my new laptop, I started to download music. Bruce brought over a bunch of songs that he downloaded from Napster. As you can expect, Napster songs were not formatted correctly. I went through hundreds of songs correcting spelling; putting all the artists, titles, and genres in the proper fields; making artist and album names consistent; capitalizing titles of songs and lots of other things. Bruce was watching in disbelief as I was obssessed with making things right!

And today, I finally got a chance to balance my checkbook after 2 months! TWO WHOLE MONTHS! Now for me, that is absurdity! A CPA not balancing her checkbook. I should have my license revoked. OK, I'm exaggerating. But I can't tell you how free and complete I feel now that my life is becoming organized once more.

It just means that I'm settling back into a normal, healthy life. Yeah, I know, maybe not so healthy. But it's my norm!

Kobi is 2 Today!!!!!

Happy Birthday my Baby! I love you!

BEFORE HE MOVED IN


HIS FIRST MONTH HOME


HIS FIRST SWIM


HIS FIRST HALLOWEEN


HIS FIRST CHRISTMAS


GETTING SKUNKED


THE PITBULL AFTERMATH


HIS FAVORITE OUTFITS


JUST BEING A GOOD OL' LAB


May I have many more great years with you Bubba!

Back to the Grind

Torture! Being back at work, having to wake up early, reading 200 emails (which were not spam), and having an extra fat belly resting on my lap is not fun!